Welcome back.

Welcome back loyal readers, all two of you, to the revamp of your favorite nature/lifestyles/interior design blog. If you noticed the large font above, I'm going to Florida (but I still went to Ecuador)!

One of these circles is Florida and the other is Ecuador. I went to one of them. 

Unfortunately we're not going to the cesspool of invasive species that is the heart of the Everglades/Miami, which is sad because the native "pristine" ecosystem is all messed up, but also pretty cool if you want to see reptiles and amphibians from all over the world without paying to go all over the world. I'd sacrifice a few boring native bird species for Burmese pythons and tegus. Glass half-full or half-empty of exotic species; it's all about perspective.

This lizard (Plica plica) will not be in Florida, but blogs without pictures are boring. 

Anyway, we're going to a field station a bit further north of the Everglades, but there will be lizards and gopher tortoises and alligators, oh my! So be on the lookout for all your favorite derpetologist.blogspot.com features in the upcoming weeks: blog posts, videos, merch, branded lunchboxes, and more, coming soon to a theater near you.

Episode 2: Birds

Some of you keen readers probably noticed that the second episode "Birds" has been constantly alluded to, but has yet to be seen. Well, now it's here. Hooray.

Remember to watch in high quality!

Well after watching this video you can probably see why it took so long/why it is is subpar at best. At least the footage is nice.

Episode 4: Lizards

Not that I am biased or anything, but here's the coolest episode with the coolest subject.

Remember to watch in high quality!

As funny/boring/badly narrated these videos are, the one thing you should pay attention to is the slideshow at the end of this episode and the previous. Whether they're showcasing frogs or lizards, the photos do the incredible diversity in size, shape, color, and pattern at least some justice, or so I'd like to think.

Coming eventually: Birds

Episode 3: Amphibians

So after three long years since my last directorial debut here is the next episode in this doomed series of youtube videos. Expect more of the same subpar editing with less monkeys and hatred of monkeys and consequently less humor. 

Remember to watch in high quality!

Previous next episode: Birds

Episode 1: Mammals

I remember when Steve Irwin would disrupt his regular schedule of poking reptiles and go to Africa to find elephants and monkeys. Those were the worst episodes. What a ripoff. Yeah, yeah, I guess a true nature lover appreciates all life on this planet equally and whatever, but screw that. Mammals are boring.

Unfortunately, I'm about to do the same to you guys. Please forgive me. For better or worse, mammals (mainly monkeys) were a significant part of the experience at Tiputini because they were everywhere and excluding them would be an incomplete representation of my month there.

This was made with Windows Movie Maker so don't expect Oscar quality cinema. It was also recorded with a subpar digital camera. That being said, I had some amazing photo opportunities and a goal of this project is to show what you can see, without National Geographic photo expertise, in the most biodiverse place on earth.

So without further ado, here it is:

Remember to watch in high quality!

Monkeys of Tiputini:

• Wooly, Lagothrix lagothricha poeppigii
• Spider, Ateles belzebuth belzebuth
• Howler, Alouatta seniculus
• Saki, Pithecia aequatorialis
• Squirrel, Saimiri sciureus
• Golden-Mantle Tamarin, Saguinus tripartitus
• Capuchin, Cebus albifrons*
• Dusky Titi, Callicebus discolor*
• Pygmy Marmoset, Cebuella pygmaea*
• Night, Aotus vociferans*
• "Second cover" of the 125th Anniversary Edition of National Geographic

*Not in my video

See all monkeys here, if you're into that. 

More monkey media towards the beginning. 

Next episode: Birds. 

Lizard Quest 1: Failure

I've loved lizards my entire life, but have been cursed with living in a place virtually devoid of them. It wasn't until Ecuador (I went there!) that I got the chance to see, catch, study, observe, cuddle, and watch the darn things in the wild for the first time and it was great. Now that I'm back home to rot in my room in upstate NY where there are no lizards, things are not great.

Fortunately my life regained purpose when I found out there are introduced Italian wall lizards (Podarcis sicula sicula) around NYC. Apparently they were released from a pet shop in Long Island in 1967 when they went out of business so people like me could find lizards in an otherwise lizard-less state. Those guys deserve a medal.

My first stop was the NY Botanical Gardens in the Bronx. Here is a video detailing the trip.

I didn't actually get kicked out, but my noosing attempts were met by an unhappy gardener who disapproved of my goals. I tried convincing him, but all my efforts and subsequent rejection left me only with contempt for this man. The worst part is that I started finding a lot of lizards right after I was chastised. Being the moral, upright, law-abiding citizen I am, I didn't grab any. Jeeze. The signs only say "Do not touch plants" not "Do not catch lizards." What a waste of $18. Don't go there. It's lame.

So close, yet so far. 

But wait, there's more! Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion to this subpar story. 

Movie Making: Day 2, Animaniacs

Animaniacs is so funny. In addition to only an hour of Animaniacs I watched an hour of the Sopranos today. It's kind of like the Animaniacs, except one episode lasts an entire hour, not two (like Animaniacs). They're both great shows.

Back to business. Here is proof that I am working on this poor excuse of a nature documentary.

 A lot of files.  

Eww. Monkeys.

As you can see there are a lot of files to sort through and I have been hard at work on episode 1: "Why monkeys are stupid."

Stay tuned. Likely to come out in the late summer of 2014 at this rate.